I had an older friend explain why he was absolutely certain his wife and he were going to have a long, happy marriage (they’d been married for a few decades by this point, so he wasn’t speculating). They went on vacation to a small town to get married and honeymoon. Small enough town that the wedding license department and fishing license department (as well as all of the other government functions) were in the same place. Dude wanted to get a fishing license, so he offered to go get both. Shows up and gets his fishing license. Then asks about the wedding license. Government dude says the wedding license dude is on vacation today. Come back tomorrow. My friend asked if government dude could do it. Nope, cannot do it. Friend asked what if his girlfriend looked like a fish, was that close enough? They laughed, and government dude said both people need to be here anyway … so come back tomorrow, and bring her. We’ll get you sorted.

He goes back to their hotel, tells her they both need to be there, and that license dude wont be in the office until tomorrow. The next day, they head back. Dude and his girlfriend walk into the office, and government dude looks at them and says ‘you are wrong, she looks nothing like a fish!”. Future wife says “how about now” and makes her best fish face. They all laugh.

He told me there’s nothing wrong with not wanting your spouse to make fun of your face. And there’s nothing wrong with joking around either. The problem is when the two people aren’t on the same page. They could still make it work, but the jokey partner is going to go through life having to curb their immediate impulse to turn something into a joke. Or the other partner is going through life being humiliated by someone who is supposed to love and support them.